So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
