wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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