Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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