He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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