Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize