I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
