already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
