I'm really into asian looking animals
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
