Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
