Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
