Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i love accidental penises.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
