when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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