Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
