you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
