how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize