do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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