Just cropdusted the office
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
