Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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