Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
