she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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