just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
