And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He passed out mid-signature
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
