Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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