i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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