Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
