The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize