peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
