The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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