Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
