Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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