Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
