My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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