i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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