Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
