u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Randomize
