Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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