I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
