I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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