that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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