i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
