So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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