so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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