the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize