google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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