Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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