oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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