i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
