From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
