Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
