sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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