If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
why do cheetos always look like penises
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
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