Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
