Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
