a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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