I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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